I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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