butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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