Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize