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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
