yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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