I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
They took my balls.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
