it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
