my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
