when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
