the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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