Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
