I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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