After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
