If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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