Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Randomize
