Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
