what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
