She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
wow bdsm is so cute
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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