like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize