i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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