I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize