Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
