I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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