She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
