what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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