just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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