When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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