I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
