is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
