He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
