sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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