Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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