It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
