You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
