So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
