It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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