I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
