My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
