Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
