At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize