I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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