the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
