I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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