I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
