If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Swine flu is the new snow day.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
