So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
