Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
