That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
