Whod you bang
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
