he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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