i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Actions speak louder than pants.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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