Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
