his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
