I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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