quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
