May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize