standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She even gives head with a lisp.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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