In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
