Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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