That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
