I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
