He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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