Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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