Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
