I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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