hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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