My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize