He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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