it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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