I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
