dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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