i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize