In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
