The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
