Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
