And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
