You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
