Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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