it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
please don't ironically join a cult
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