just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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