Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
