I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize