she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
