i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
