hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i think i just lost a toe
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize